• Tamra Coveau

Ex won't let go?

Asked on Quora: "I really love my ex and I don't want to see him walk out of my life. He doesn't want to be with me, but he tells me he still loves and cares about me. He just wants to be friends though. What should I do?"

Answered by Tamra

Denial is a powerful force…and one-sided love is torture.

Your ex in a nutshell:

  1. Does not want to be with you

  2. Keeps you hanging on with words

  3. Keeps you hanging on with the idea of being “friends”

  4. Knows this is not fair to you

  5. Puts himself first

Are you living on the hope of his “sweet nothing?”

  1. Are you dwelling on feelings that are keeping you in denial?

  2. Do you settle for words that are empty?

  3. Do you hope that his being friends with you will lead to more?

  4. Are you still not putting yourself first?

This is what you need to do:

  1. Accept the reality that this person rejected you and still does

  2. Move one…he probably has

  3. Know that words of love without action are meaningless

  4. If someone is keeping you around or on the back burner in case they get bored between new loves, that is not friendship.

  5. Don’t allow yourself to be used. Your friendship is a gift and so are you. The right person for you will not use you, throw you away or keep you hanging on and torture you.

Since he won’t "be a man about it" and set you free…

Don't allow yourself to settle for his crumbs.

Set yourself free! How to Free Yourself From a Manipulator

Don't fall for the line, “I love you, but…” used to manipulate you.

8 Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation.. and Free Ourselves From It

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