Are you dating a Narcissist?
"What is a narcissistic rage like?"
Posted on March 11, 2016
Asked on Quora:
Answer by Tamra:
Narcissists can be charming and are experts at putting on a good act, seducing victims and playing the victim. Stick around long enough and you will experience how they use rage to deflect from their own perceived hurt, which is anything they believe could threaten their own huge and yet fragile ego as well as to escape guilt, and to manipulate their supply/victim.
A narcissist can be male or female, though statistically more often they are male. He will often rightly claim that he has low self esteem, but he will use this as an excuse to lash out and attack you and then claim himself to be the victim to deflect guilt.
A narcissist is not a victim, he is a predator and will use up people until they are of no use to him or until he scares them away for good. Unfortunately his victims usually are made up of very trusting, nice and empathetic people. If his victims ever got together, they would share similar stories of how they were lied to and manipulated to believe the narcissist’s claims of “poor me” all the while being used and abused.
The narcissist knows exactly what he is and what he does and will not ever change.
Dating a narcissist is a nightmare. First, he is charming and wins you over. Then he subtly begins the criticism phase to make himself feel superior and gain control. Eventually he will discard you for another. Usually there is cheating and he overlaps his victims, because he needs a non-stop supply of admirers/victims.
The narcissist will not follow through on promises, commit or stay faithful. They are often described as having a Jeckyll and Hyde personality and are two-faced. The narcissist in fact, has a pattern of leaving victims wondering who they were even dating and the longer you stay with a narcissist the more confusing it will become. A narcissist is damaged and will seek to damage you.
They often claim that their last girlfriend or even all their exes are “crazy” to deflect from their own disorder. In truth, they attract empathetic people who are trusting and easily manipulated. The narcissist is the one who acts irrationally and cruelly, and sometimes even has a history of abusing women and domestic violence.
Misogynist men unconsciously hate women, and are damaged psychologically from childhood trauma.
The only way to save yourself from a narcissist or misogynist is to separate yourself as soon as possible and not let him worm his way back into your heart, where he will continue to do damage. Often the narcissist will play two or more women against each other and enjoys thinking both are in love with him, while he plays the victim.
He will use you up to the last drop if you let him and is always on the prowl for more victims like an addict seeking constant supply.
He eventually will discard victims with no warning, because he finds newer “play things” or the victims will wise up on their own and save themselves. He hates to let even one of his admiring victims go, but sometimes does to move on to fresh victims or because he has failed to keep them both deluded. His failure to keep both women deluded victims will really infuriate him, since it means he “lost” and his ego takes a hit. He will not however, feel bad for anyone but himself.
The reason a good person falls for a narcissist is not just that the narcissist is charming, it is because they are wounded, and a kind-hearted empathetic woman will want to love that person and heal them. However, the narcissist will not heal and does not want to give or receive real love. The narcissist is toxic and would rather drag you down, than change. If you are with a narcissist, get away… as far away as possible as soon as possible, and get the support of family and friends to stay strong. He will try to “win” you back just to drop you from an even higher cliff.