• Tamra Coveau

Toxic Love Traps

Asked on Quora: What is a toxic and dysfunctional family?

Answered by Tamra Coveau:

There are levels and degrees of dysfunction in many families, as people are imperfect human beings but truly toxic people are characterized by extreme dysfunction that usually drains the joy and life of those around them.

Sometimes these social vampires look great on the outside and lure you in with their charm or even their apparent vulnerability, but beware! Emotional manipulators are not always easy to spot, sometimes they appear in the mirror and like all vampires, they cannot even see their own true reflection. It takes courage to face ourselves honestly and take inventory of our own behavior without blaming others.

If you think you may be in a relationship with a toxic person, it is time to face the reality of your situation. We cannot change anyone else; we can only work on ourselves. This can be a very difficult thing to accept, but it is also the key to our freedom and own growth. Strive to make all your relationships healthy ones. We can do this by only participating in relationships that are healthy.

Toxic people will try to engage you in dysfunction, so you will have to remove yourself as much as possible from interacting with them. Become more aware of your own feelings in the process of your interactions and give up trying to fix or control anyone else. You cannot fix toxic people by telling them that they are toxic, but you can set boundaries for yourself. Remove yourself from toxic people and hold yourself accountable for your own feelings and behavior.

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