The Energy of Attraction
Asked on Quora:
"Why do I find it difficult to attract the girl that I admire but I can easily get close/friendly to the others?"
Answer by Tamra Coveau:
It is easier to make friends, which requires no real risk of romantic rejection, than to put your heart on the line for someone you are really attracted to and desire. In addition, you do not care as much about every little thing you are saying and are probably more natural around the girls you are not that interested in, as opposed to being self-conscious around your dream girl.
The best thing to do is to be aware of your feelings, and know the difference between how you behave in both scenarios. It is okay and natural to be more nervous around someone that gives you butterflies. In addition, the vibe that you are putting out when attracted to someone is a signal that they usually notice right away and will either repel or attract him or her. With friends, there is no romantic vibes to do this, as it is a safe zone and platonic. Attraction can be complicated.
When you are putting out the energy of desire, the effect is that your desired target will either reciprocate or seek distance. This is why it is important to be both clear and respectful in communicating your interests. You want to slowly share your feelings as they are returned and not overstep anyone’s trust or boundaries. When feelings are reciprocated, it will feel wonderful, but some attractions can be unhealthy. It is important to learn the difference.
Ultimately, you have to decide if an attraction is worth the risk. I would say…Yes! Almost everything worth having requires work and risk. Are you up for the challenge?