• Tamra Coveau

Breaking Up, Coming Out and Staying Friends



Asked on Quora: What should I do with my girlfriend if she broke up with me in the pretext that she has turned gay?

Answered by Tamra Coveau:

My heart goes out to you, because this must seem confusing. Break ups are difficult for both people involved. Whether or not your ex-girlfriend has given you an ostensible reason for breaking things off is not up to us to judge. Perhaps this was her attempt at kindness and letting you down easily without blaming you, or perhaps she is trusting you with the truth.

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Either way, respect her decision, accept the situation and move on with your life. If you are worried that her sexuality has anything to do with you, stop immediately, because it has nothing to do with anyone else. She did not suddenly turn gay, but may have been contemplating her sexuality for some time.

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Often people do not fully realize or accept their sexuality because they fear rejection from friends, family or the community. If she has come out to you, then she entrusted you with a very personal matter, and I hope you can recognize that it took courage. Show her kindness and support her as a friend would in this situation. She did not betray you, so do not betray her confidence in you.

PFLAG National

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