Fleecing Facebook Friends
Asked on Quora: “He made a fake account and tried to add me on facebook..How would I know if my actions are too harsh?”
Answer by Tamra Coveau:
You poured out your heart and built what you thought was a mutually trusting relationship. It does not matter if it was with a person next door or in another country, because hurt is hurt. Unfortunately it takes time to really get to know someone beyond what they want us to know about them.
Words only go so far, and we have to judge people by their own actions. This person’s actions seem very inconsistent with the person he represented himself to be for you in all your conversations. It is no wonder you unfriended him and need space to sort out the confusing behavior from the person you thought you knew.
You did nothing wrong, but sometimes we trust the wrong people in life and get hurt. This person may have an agenda you did not know about and was trying to get something from you or maybe he just has his own trust issues and was going about things the wrong way. His testing of your friendship and dishonesty was immature at best and highly suspicious in my opinion.
This happens to everyone and when it does we have some choices:
Stop trusting yourself, your instincts and other people. Build a wall around your heart and stay guarded.
Keep trusting and opening yourself up to hurt and betrayal and hope it does not happen again, but it will eventually.
Trust yourself to trust those who are trustworthy. This is not an oversimplification or a denial of facts. This is the choice that will keep you open, but also selective about who and how much you share and when you share.
Remember: All of your private information belongs to you and it is up to you to care for yourself and to be responsible in your choices. Never give a stranger your personal information, financial information, address etc. especially over the phone/internet. Continue to protect your privacy and yourself from anyone that proves themselves to be untrustworthy.
You do not owe him a second chance to earn your trust. I think that you were wise to unfriend this person. He is not representative of all people, but use caution going forward and beware of anyone who attempts to manipulate your emotions, seeks pity, uses flattery or does anything in order to control you.
Most people are good, but there are enough creeps and sociopaths in the world to make it absolutely vital to listen to your instincts and use caution with strangers, some of whom can be charismatic and have practice in charming people for their own gain.
Beware the “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” -Aesop
Before giving away any information or investing yourself in another person emotionally, it is important to ask yourself if this will benefit you or just the other person.